I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize