Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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