We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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