yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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