He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize