I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
