If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
