He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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