Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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