My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
her vagine was all disorganized.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Randomize
