I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The feeling are messing with the penis
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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