Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
