I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
