TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
