You don't have asthma, your pregnant
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Randomize
