i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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