ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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