I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
