so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
