I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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