My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
