i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I'm at about main and main street
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize