I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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