Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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