really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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