Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Randomize
