You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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