so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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