hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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