the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
