i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize