I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Randomize
