Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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