so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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