I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
This couple is walking their pig around campus
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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