sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
