My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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