Me too!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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