Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
