I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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