the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
