i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
