I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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