Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
