the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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