I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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