i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Everclear isn't food dammit
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
