so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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