She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
