I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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