So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize