He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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