i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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