I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
