fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize