Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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