Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
