I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
