hotel room ftw
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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